We make hundreds of decisions each day, from ‘where should I sit in Starbucks’ and ‘what should I eat for breakfast’ to ‘should I make that cold call’ and ‘what should I say’. When we make decisions in life and in business they are based on our beliefs and experiences.
Some beliefs we have can control our perception of our experience and hence our response to a decision we have to make. For instance let’s say a friend says to you, “I love your new coat.” You may respond in a few different ways, such as:
- Thank you
- Thanks, I got it on sale at Marshall’s
- Thanks, I am not sure it looks right on me
Each of these responses creates a different feeling in yourself and your friend. The first says, you are grateful for the compliment. The second response says you recognize you are somehow not completely deserving of such a nice jacket and the third response says you are not confident about your purchase and you are fishing for a way to justify the expense.
This is your Love Belief. Your Love Belief is your love in yourself is based on these feeling you have around the choices you make; your ability to competently shop, to dress appropriately, to spend money, or simply to make a decision all add to that feeling.
If you cannot accept the gift of a compliment from a friend then how are you going to accept the criticism of a client or competition in your business? You have to be confident in your decisions and your ability to get things right.
Love Belief Exercise
Here is a quick exercise to help you start the process and grow your Love Belief.
- Think of one or more people you love. They may be close family or friends or they can be mentors, leaders, people you idolize or look up to.
- Start with this statement, “I love you because…”
- Fill in the statement with the reasons you love the person or people you identified in step 1.
For Example – I love you because…
- You make me feel safe
- You make me feel I can accomplish anything
- You are helpful
- People love you
- Replace the first statement with “I love ME because…” and then read the answers your wrote for the other people.
For Example – I love ME because…
- I make others feel safe,
- I make other people feel they can accomplish anything.
- I am helpful
- People love me
Even if the statement does not completely fit yet, these are the things you would like to see in yourself.
Loving yourself will lead to becoming a more confident and competent business leader. People who experience you will be more drawn to you, building rapport will be easier, and having the opportunities to get in front of your clients will increase.