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Why Does Being a Parent Give You an Advantage in Business?

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I wanted to reissue this post to add some additional information from John Warrillow. Check the link at the end of the article.

There is a truth to the thought that starting a business is a lot like having children:

  • There is never a perfect time to start
  • There is more to know then expected
  • You cannot guess how it will change your life

In Business, like having children, there is an overwhelming sense of love and satisfaction that comes when you have a business you are passionate about. Unlike having children you will have more control over how it operates when it is mature.

So why is being a parent an advantage to a business owner? Let’s take a look at the three items above that these two life courses have in common.

No Perfect Time to Start

Children

Before I had children, in a time when I knew I was going to have children, I spent a lot of time trying to define (with my husband Brian) how my life needed to be to be able to manage a life with kids. I needed a job with some flexibility. I wanted to be in our own home. I had to be finished my degree. We wanted to have a combined income of a certain level. We wanted to have traveled together. Well, as you can see I had a list.

I’m very good at implementing, so most of my list was complete when my first child was born. What I could not believe was how much time I must have had before children. I mean really, what did I do with all our extra time? I should have been able to finish two degrees.

Business

Before I started my first business I needed to know exactly how I was going to be paid, who was going to work with me, how I could get extra funding, and where my clients would come from. Everything I needed to know about business, or so I thought. There is so much to know about business that if you started down the learning path before you launched, you’d be in an MBA before you opened your doors and still you would not have enough information.

Somehow I was  able to take on an enormous amount of work I did not have before: Work that runs into family time or weekends and yet it still seems to fit into my life.

To completely understand your business you have to be in it – you have to start. Each business has its own personality (Brand) and friends (target market) and family (mentors and peers).

There is More to Know

Children

I could not have guessed I would have had to know so much about child psychology, conflict resolution, mentoring, leadership, delegation, and diplomacy as a parent. Dealing with kids, their friends and their friend’s families, teachers, schools, sports clubs, etc. has been a huge ‘eye opener’ for me.

Business

I could not have guessed I would have had to know so much about human psychology, conflict resolution, mentoring, leadership, delegation, and diplomacy as a business owner. On top of this I also must understand accounting and bookkeeping, sales, marketing, business development, and operations among other skills. I am truly grateful for the learning I received dealing with my children which helped me more quickly become a leader as a business owner.

Change Your Life

Child at desk - poised to take over the businessChildren

As I mentioned, I don’t know what I must have done with all my extra time before I had kids, but I can tell you I love the time I spend with them now. There is humour, growth, development, companionship, maturity, fun, tears, and love. There is a wonderful feeling of belonging, not only to my family but to the community my children tie me to.

Business

Being in business also ties you to a community of peers, supporters, family, mentors, teachers, advisers, partners, affiliates, and clients. There are literally hundreds of opportunities to be connected in business in ways you could not necessarily have foreseen before you started. The more you give to these connections the more you will get back. It can be an extremely gratifying part of your business.

Growing a business is a life lesson. Be excited to learn. Learn from your children to apply to your business and learn from you business to be a better parent and leader. Remember to teach your kids the benefits of being an entrepreneur and model the way so that they will bring that enthusiasm to all they do in life. Who knows, maybe they will take over the business one day.

I wanted to re-issue this post because I just read another article that brings even more credence to this topic. Check out “Do Parents Make Better Startup Founders?” by John Warrillow.

No One Can Make You Believe You’re an Expert

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Pawn sees self as King

Have you ever had someone comment on your expertise or say you are an expert at something?How did you feel? Were you surprised maybe? Did you thank them or did you tell them you have a long way to go?

Why don’t we just say ‘Thank you’?

Your answer to that last question says a lot about your personal view of your own expertise. When we have something that other people like and we get a compliment, for instance, “I like your new car”, we then thank the person. If we have something we think has a lesser or no value and someone compliments on it, we may not feel worthy to accept the compliment. Have you ever had a new used car that was the only thing you could afford to buy? When someone said, “I like your new car” you may have been embarrassed that it was not the class level you want to be at and would answer something like, “Oh, it will do for now”.

What does our mindset have to do with it?

This mindset is the same for our own worth. If we do not believe that we are an expert then no matter what someone says to us we cannot concede the truth without a change in our own perception. Unfortunately, in human behaviour, it is what we believe in ourselves that comes across to others. Therefore if you want others to know you are an expert you have to first believe you are an expert.

In the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, a person only becomes an expert after they have put in over 10,000 hours of work. It is not that ‘practice makes perfect’, it is that ‘practice develops experience’ and with experience comes wisdom and intuition that cannot be had without it.  Just because you have 10,000 times put into something does not necessarily make you feel like an expert. There is a mindset shift that must occur. This mindset must overcome our fear of being seen as arrogant or pompous. In Seth Godin’s recent blog post he goes further to say that if we do not believe in ourselves the market won’t do it for us.

I have some amazing friends and very talented family members that are very good at what they do. Recently I realized that they spend time worrying about their expert level, their value, their worth. No matter how many times we have discussed their skills and value – the statements coming from me do not resonate as clearly as if they had come from themselves.

How do we get that mindset?

The concert pianist that steps on stage is not thinking, “geez I hope they like me”, the motivational speaker does not worry that she will be able to actually motivate people, the world renown advertising company CEO does not worry if people will find value from their campaigns – they just do it. But they do it with the knowledge that they are very good at what they do. So how does a person get to that stage of mindset?

Practice

Put in your 10,000 and build your expertise. If you are not there yet, act as if you are so that you will become that person. I’m not saying you should lie about what you can or cannot do, I’m saying, live like you are the best at the pieces you are very good at.

Acceptance

Accept that you are good at some things and always be thankful for them. Practice having a thankful heart and mind. When someone compliments you your mission is to just say, ‘thank you’. Hold those hesitations and lesser thoughts to yourself for another conversation. Allow that person to get the full effect of the gift they gave you by simply accepting it for what it is, a compliment.

Accomplishment

Keep an accomplishment list or daily accomplishment journal. When you recognize your own accomplishments it becomes easier to see what others see in you. For a description of these two exercises see my blog on Accomplishments.

Persistence

You may have people that will always recognize your expertise, maybe before you do, but not everyone is going to believe you. Constantly eventuate your skills and knowledge. Openly concede your mistakes and learn from them to become better at everything you do. Every successful person is just that – a person. You are as worthy to be successful at what you do as they are. Continue to believe in yourself and the numbers of others that believe you will continue to grow.