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How to Escape the Funk: A Positive Attitude Will Make You More Successful

Barb Stuhlemmer | Posted on April 1, 2011 |

My birthday was this past week and I must admit that it was a tough week for me. I had been in a funk all week. This is way out of character for me and everyone that knows me well could immediately tell something was not right. This is not a landmark birthday for me, but I think I was expecting to be doing something more. All I could do was think about what I had not accomplished.

Thankfully, my guest expert for the Entrepreneur Club this month said something that really resonated with me and set me straight again. To help him stay in his success mindset Mark Rhodes starts his days by first giving gratitude for what he has and then he envisions successfully reaching his goals, visualizing the details of living the actual success, whatever that might be.

I often end my days by writing in my gratitude journal and visualizing my future successes. I also keep an accomplishment journal that I write in each day. What I had been doing that week was waking up and immediately start thinking about what I had not accomplished, when I could get it done, what it would take, and what it meant not to have accomplished it. But not what it meant to me, what it meant to everyone else. These were useless self-loathing thoughts. There was no positive energy in these – not for me and certainly not for others around me.

How to Escape the Funk

We can all slip into these emotional quagmires, but what is important to note is that you don’t have to stay there. Acknowledge it, let it go, and then move on.

On my birthday I woke early and started with my gratitude. I could immediately feel the difference in my attitude and my energy. I knew I was going to be much more productive today. Before I rose I envisioned one goal I wanted to accomplish and visualized me actually achieving it. The path to that goal is not difficult; I just needed to be focused on it.

I then decided to give myself a gift. I would make a list of 100 accomplishments I had done over the year. I did about 50 in less than 15 minutes. I was surprised to remember so many amazing accomplishments over this year, including being a contributing author in an Amazon #1 best seller, being asked to chair the Advisory Board of the International Business Program at Georgian College, creating a new business while running another, meeting one of my mentors, Fabienne Fredrickson, several times, and helping more than 40 people find more success and self confidence in their businesses! It has been an incredible year.

Use the Past, Present and Future

Past – Give gratitude for the things you have

Present – Acknowledge the things you are doing now

Future – Visualize achieving your future goals

Follow these 5 points to stay positive

1. Start your day with Gratitude

2. Visualize your goals

3. Write down you accomplishments daily

4. Keep a living list of life time accomplishments and revisit it regularly

5. Don’t go to bed in a negative mood. Use Gratitude to find your positive emotions.

Why Does Being a Parent Give You an Advantage in Business?

admin | Posted on January 26, 2011 |

I wanted to reissue this post to add some additional information from John Warrillow. Check the link at the end of the article.

There is a truth to the thought that starting a business is a lot like having children:

There is never a perfect time to start
There is more to know then expected
You cannot guess how it will change your life

In Business, like having children, there is an overwhelming sense of love and satisfaction that comes when you have a business you are passionate about. Unlike having children you will have more control over how it operates when it is mature.

So why is being a parent an advantage to a business owner? Let’s take a look at the three items above that these two life courses have in common.

No Perfect Time to Start

Children

Before I had children, in a time when I knew I was going to have children, I spent a lot of time trying to define (with my husband Brian) how my life needed to be to be able to manage a life with kids. I needed a job with some flexibility. I wanted to be in our own home. I had to be finished my degree. We wanted to have a combined income of a certain level. We wanted to have traveled together. Well, as you can see I had a list.

I’m very good at implementing, so most of my list was complete when my first child was born. What I could not believe was how much time I must have had before children. I mean really, what did I do with all our extra time? I should have been able to finish two degrees.

Business

Before I started my first business I needed to know exactly how I was going to be paid, who was going to work with me, how I could get extra funding, and where my clients would come from. Everything I needed to know about business, or so I thought. There is so much to know about business that if you started down the learning path before you launched, you’d be in an MBA before you opened your doors and still you would not have enough information.

Somehow I was able to take on an enormous amount of work I did not have before: Work that runs into family time or weekends and yet it still seems to fit into my life.

To completely understand your business you have to be in it – you have to start. Each business has its own personality (Brand) and friends (target market) and family (mentors and peers).

There is More to Know

Children

I could not have guessed I would have had to know so much about child psychology, conflict resolution, mentoring, leadership, delegation, and diplomacy as a parent. Dealing with kids, their friends and their friend’s families, teachers, schools, sports clubs, etc. has been a huge ‘eye opener’ for me.

Business

I could not have guessed I would have had to know so much about human psychology, conflict resolution, mentoring, leadership, delegation, and diplomacy as a business owner. On top of this I also must understand accounting and bookkeeping, sales, marketing, business development, and operations among other skills. I am truly grateful for the learning I received dealing with my children which helped me more quickly become a leader as a business owner.

Change Your Life

Children

As I mentioned, I don’t know what I must have done with all my extra time before I had kids, but I can tell you I love the time I spend with them now. There is humour, growth, development, companionship, maturity, fun, tears, and love. There is a wonderful feeling of belonging, not only to my family but to the community my children tie me to.

Business

Being in business also ties you to a community of peers, supporters, family, mentors, teachers, advisers, partners, affiliates, and clients. There are literally hundreds of opportunities to be connected in business in ways you could not necessarily have foreseen before you started. The more you give to these connections the more you will get back. It can be an extremely gratifying part of your business.

Growing a business is a life lesson. Be excited to learn. Learn from your children to apply to your business and learn from you business to be a better parent and leader. Remember to teach your kids the benefits of being an entrepreneur and model the way so that they will bring that enthusiasm to all they do in life. Who knows, maybe they will take over the business one day.

I wanted to re-issue this post because I just read another article that brings even more credence to this topic. Check out “Do Parents Make Better Startup Founders?” by John Warrillow.

Removing Your Obstacles to Growth

Barb Stuhlemmer | Posted on January 11, 2011 |

Do you want to make some real changes? Then start with removing your obstacles to growth.

What are your Obstacles?

For most of us there is so much going on in our lives that is it difficult to focus on what is important. Our obstacles are the things we have to do, or think we have to do, that fill our lives with distraction.

Have you ever felt like you just start one thing that could not be finished until you addressed another thing, which could not be started without something else, and so on? These are the distractions that take us in unproductive circles, never fully completing things we start. Here are a few things that may be a distraction to you in your business.

Desk is cluttered
Too much email
Calls that are not made
Documents to complete
Licensing or Incorporation papers to file
Work interfering with marketing
Marketing interfering with work
Doctor/Dentist appointments
Kids
A messy home
Health issues
Loneliness
Etc.

I work from a home office. For five years in my business I put up with this hideous wallpaper we inherited from the last owners. I could not stand it, but I knew to change it would be an investment in my time. I had to remove all my desks, cabinets, computers, and book shelves which were just too much to think about – so I put up with the wallpaper, year after year. What was really happening was that under the surface of my conscious thought was a constant reminder of an unfinished task.

This reminder took up a small part of my thought process and my emotional structure. Alone this would not be an issue, but on top of the other reminders that fill our lives when we are starting a business, getting educated, raising children, and working to keep a balance in our lives it can become an anvil on our growth.

How Can You Start Clearing a Path?

If you want to really start growing your business you need to first get rid of all these reminders of things you need to do. Here are a few things you can do to start reducing your mental checklist.

Create a List

Create a list of things that are your ‘incomplete reminders’. Put down everything that fills your mind with anguish or worry. List all the things that are part of your regular responsibility that you are having trouble managing. Anything that is an irritation to you is something that should be addressed.

In Jack Canfield’s book, The Success Principles, he describes a process for addressing your irritations. It is worth reading.

Set Aside Time

Don’t try to tackle every item on the list. If you have to do it yourself then work on one item at a time. If there is something that is part of your regular responsibility then make sure you have time that is set aside specifically for that task every day/week/month. Prioritize items so you can get the tasks complete that will allow you to tackle secondary tasks more easily.

You will never find time to look after these tasks because you have not found it so far, so set aside the time. Make it a small manageable time slot so you will not overwhelm yourself. Then, let go of the list and release the reminders from your mind. It will get done because you have set a priority to manage it. Any time you start thinking about it you can say to yourself, “oh yes, that is slated to be looked after”, and you won’t have to worry that it needs to get done.

Hire Someone

I met a business owner through BNI that loves to paint (Bev Morgan of Fresh Look Painting Services). She says she “makes love to your walls” and it is true. She is focused on the details and a beautiful result. To her, this is the most rewarding job ever.

I hired her to remove the wallpaper and paint my office. All I had to do was remove the items in the room. What I found was that moving the items in the office were not the stalling factor, it was completing the job. I was so excited to have someone else looking after the project that I joyfully cleared out my office and my kitchen too.

Now my office is a whole new workspace. A place of ease where I can be creative without stopping to panic about the work I kept putting off.

Get your kids to help

A much cherished mentor of mine, Donna Douglas, once said to me, “even a two year old can scrub a toilet. You just have to be accepting of the level of clean they can accomplish.” Her point was, if you start your kids young, when they want to help you, and you give them praise for the results they are capable of managing, then you will create kids that will help when they are asked.

You cannot run a business on your own and run a home on your own too. Get some buy-in from the rest of your family. If they are unwilling to help, then explain to them the level of “clean” you are capably of managing on your own and if they want something more then they will need to help you with that.

No One Can Make You Believe You’re an Expert

admin | Posted on December 20, 2010 |

Pawn sees self as King

Have you ever had someone comment on your expertise or say you are an expert at something?How did you feel? Were you surprised maybe? Did you thank them or did you tell them you have a long way to go?

Why don’t we just say ‘Thank you’?

Your answer to that last question says a lot about your personal view of your own expertise. When we have something that other people like and we get a compliment, for instance, “I like your new car”, we then thank the person. If we have something we think has a lesser or no value and someone compliments on it, we may not feel worthy to accept the compliment. Have you ever had a new used car that was the only thing you could afford to buy? When someone said, “I like your new car” you may have been embarrassed that it was not the class level you want to be at and would answer something like, “Oh, it will do for now”.

What does our mindset have to do with it?

This mindset is the same for our own worth. If we do not believe that we are an expert then no matter what someone says to us we cannot concede the truth without a change in our own perception. Unfortunately, in human behaviour, it is what we believe in ourselves that comes across to others. Therefore if you want others to know you are an expert you have to first believe you are an expert.

In the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, a person only becomes an expert after they have put in over 10,000 hours of work. It is not that ‘practice makes perfect’, it is that ‘practice develops experience’ and with experience comes wisdom and intuition that cannot be had without it. Just because you have 10,000 times put into something does not necessarily make you feel like an expert. There is a mindset shift that must occur. This mindset must overcome our fear of being seen as arrogant or pompous. In Seth Godin’s recent blog post he goes further to say that if we do not believe in ourselves the market won’t do it for us.

I have some amazing friends and very talented family members that are very good at what they do. Recently I realized that they spend time worrying about their expert level, their value, their worth. No matter how many times we have discussed their skills and value – the statements coming from me do not resonate as clearly as if they had come from themselves.

How do we get that mindset?

The concert pianist that steps on stage is not thinking, “geez I hope they like me”, the motivational speaker does not worry that she will be able to actually motivate people, the world renown advertising company CEO does not worry if people will find value from their campaigns – they just do it. But they do it with the knowledge that they are very good at what they do. So how does a person get to that stage of mindset?

Practice

Put in your 10,000 and build your expertise. If you are not there yet, act as if you are so that you will become that person. I’m not saying you should lie about what you can or cannot do, I’m saying, live like you are the best at the pieces you are very good at.

Acceptance

Accept that you are good at some things and always be thankful for them. Practice having a thankful heart and mind. When someone compliments you your mission is to just say, ‘thank you’. Hold those hesitations and lesser thoughts to yourself for another conversation. Allow that person to get the full effect of the gift they gave you by simply accepting it for what it is, a compliment.

Accomplishment

Keep an accomplishment list or daily accomplishment journal. When you recognize your own accomplishments it becomes easier to see what others see in you. For a description of these two exercises see my blog on Accomplishments.

Persistence

You may have people that will always recognize your expertise, maybe before you do, but not everyone is going to believe you. Constantly eventuate your skills and knowledge. Openly concede your mistakes and learn from them to become better at everything you do. Every successful person is just that – a person. You are as worthy to be successful at what you do as they are. Continue to believe in yourself and the numbers of others that believe you will continue to grow.