Believe it or not even a person as confident as I appear to be asks this question of myself on occasions. I am human and I sometimes get to a point when I start that negative self-talk that does nothing to help me move forward in my business or my life. So how do you answer this question or better yet, what questions are you asking yourself? Let’s take a look at some of the questions and answers and then I will share some tools.
Do you ask…
- Am I worthy?
- Who do you think you are?
- Will anyone accept me?
- Will anyone pay for this service?
- Do I have enough education?
And do you have some of these answers…
- I’m not ready.
- I need more training.
- I cannot charge that.
- I’ll never be that good.
- I’m not doing enough.
Negative self-talk is very dangerous to growth. It is good to know your limitation and what you are willing to do but it is not good to put boundaries around a shallow belief system. So how do you know if it is a realistic boundary or a limiting belief?
Ask these additional questions and check-in with your spirit:
1. When I ask myself these questions am I comparing myself to someone else’s accomplishments?
- If you answer ‘Yes’ to this then you are not on a level playing-field with yourself. You must be honest with yourself and look at what you can do. I know for a lot of years not having a degree made me feel like I was not capable of building something beyond a certain size. Even though I spent a lot of my time leading and directing PhD’s, Doctors, Biomeds, technicians, and nurses on clinical operations using high-tech equipment because I literally wrote the book there was something that made me feel inferior and it is not real.
- Write out your accomplishments if you have not done that already and read them often. Remember it is a living document so continue to add new accomplishments all the time.
2. What I am I feeling when I ask myself these questions?
- If the feelings are excited and directed to your future success that is good. If they are grey and are re-living your past failures it is not going to support your growth. Your failures are the stepping stones to making you that person you are now – be grateful for the opportunity to learn and to continue to grow.
3. Do I feel empowered after I ask these questions or deflated?
- Asking questions should help give you answers to challenges you need to overcome, they should not be used to continue a negative conversation. Answer the question and move on. If you do not have the answer, then start asking your peers, mentors, or clients for their opinion. If you are too uncomfortable to ask the question of them, then likely your questions are really self-loathing.
- You need to ask better questions that you can use to move yourself forward.
To be able to move past this you need to see yourself in a different light. Find that one person that will always hold you accountable and shine a light on your accomplishments as well as your faults and ask them. Get an honest answer and then make a decision as to how to move forward. Remember the goal is grow, because if you are not doing something different then you are not changing and business without change cannot grow.